The shiner

Dylan has had quite a week. First he walked into a metal pole at the store and got a huge goose egg on his forehead. Then yesterday the kids were playing on the trampoline and he hits himself in the eye with his OWN knee. Poor guy has a heck of a black eye.

It's finally here.....

No, I'm not talking about spring, or the time change, or the much anticipated day that Jeremy went back to work.... I'm talking about the very best time of year, at least in our house....BASEBALL SEASON!!!! All over America thousands of fans flocked into their favorite major league stadiums to witness the glory of opening day. In our house we flocked to the Southern Little League field to watch our all time favorite baseball player take the field. My own little man donned his little league volcanoes uniform, ball cap and cleats. He took the field with pure love for the game written all over him. MY boy, one of the youngest on the team, took his place at first base and it was all business. It's amazing how proud you can be of a 7 year old playing a game of baseball. And I was extremely proud of the fact that my boy was playing first base but I was also proud at all those games when my little boy played the outfield and never even had a ball hit his way. I'm am so in awe of the passion, drive and determination inside that little man to play the game he loves not to the best of his ability but better. I have seen so many kids who have this amazing raw talent. Not Dylan, he's small, not very quick, but what that boy lacks in talent he makes up for in heart. Dylan plays as well as he does because he's all heart and he's determined to be the best at everything he does and even better at the things he loves. And by the way, they WON!!! Just in case you were wondering. :)

Kids are so funny

As you all know Alissa is a Dora fanatic. The kids spend the week of spring break with my Mom and Step-Dad. Now my step-dad is old and has a habit of walking around in his underwear. Alissa, of course, took notice of the numerous holes in them one night. This is the conversation that insued.

A: Nanny, Poppy has holes in his undies!
N: Your right.
A: I can fix them!
N: Oh, ya? How?
A: With ducky tape and sticky tape! Can you get me some?

Anyone who has ever seen Dora will understand.....lol :)

Tagged

I was tagged by Shannon. Made me feel loved. :)

A) Four jobs you have had in your life:
1. Peer tutor
2. amusmant park ticket sales
3. elementry school duty assistant
4. Kmart cashier

B) Four movies you would watch over and over:
1. The Story of Us
2. It's a Wonnderful Life
3. White Christmas
4. Sleeping Beauty

C) Four places you have lived (only four?):
1. Amarillo, Tx
2. Dumas, Tx
3. Abilene, Tx
4. if you want four I would have to start listing specific addresses :)

D) Four TV shows you love to watch:
1. Medium
2. ER
3. Law & Order: SVU
4. American Idol

E) Four places you have been on vacation:
1. Jacksonville, Fl
2. Old Mobettie, Tx
3. Santa Fe, MN
4. Eurika Springs, Arkansas

F) Four websites I visit daily (only four?):
1. nov2002group on yahoo
2. accuweather
3. yahoo
4. pogo

G) Four of my favorite foods:
1. flat {Granny) enchilidas
2. chicken fried steak
3. mashed potatoes
4. pasta salad

H) Four places I would rather be right now:
1. collecting lottery winnings...lol :)
2. In the mountains
3. a major leauge baseball game
4. on a Disney cruise

It say's I have to tag four people but all the people I know who have blogs have already been tagged. So I guess I will tag 4 people who I know read my blog.....Connie, Julie and the only other 2 people who read it....lol :)

If you have some time....

try it!

http://kevan.org/johari?name=dcasmom

Finally....

I got off my butt and finally got the software for my digital camera downloaded on this computer. Here are some pics of Alissa's first nightin her new bed. You can see them better cuz they can be enlarged. :)

Sad week

A year ago last thursday was the very last time I heard my Grandpa's voice. That was also the day he was put in ICU in an unconsciece state. A year ago saturday was my grandpa's 75th birthday. A year ago tomorrow will be the day he was moved from the ICU to hospice. Not long after midnight, on the eighth, he left us. I would have to say that was the single longest day of my entire life. Their is no decision harder to have to make, or be a part of making, then to take someone you love off of life support. Their is no harder thing in the world to do then to set in hospice with you entire family waiting for someone you love to pass away. I have so much respect for people who work in hospice. The nurses who took care of my family were amazing. In the very moments that my grandpa ascended from earth to heaven one of those ladies whistled Amazing Grace outside the door. What a huge comfort that was to my family. I hope he knows how much we all love and miss him. He was a horribly perverted old man and I miss that so much. I miss simply knowing that he's there. I hope that, if nothing else, I learned to cherish every moment I have to spend with the people I love.

New hair do's

Chey and Alissa were getting shaggy so we got then cute new hair cuts this weekend. We went back home to spend time with family. Had a great time visiting with our family and friends.

Alissa is a big girl!

I know we should have moved her to a big girl be a long time ago but..... She has such a hard time falling asleep anywhere else. But this weekend we found a deal we just couldn't pass up. The first thing she said this morning when she woke up was, "I want my Dora bed!" So we not have her Dora table and chairs, Dora toy organizer and Dora toddler bed all together and she's working hard on breaking it all in. :) The best part is that we got all 3 things for only $100. WOOHOO!

Happy Valentines Day!!!

Hope you have a great day filled with love! Can't believe it mid-february already. Sometimes life has a way of getting away from you. We've been so busy here with all the goings on of a family with 4 kids that I haven't had time to put "pen to paper". :) Hopefully soon I'll be so full of words that they just flow right off my fingertips...lol

Love, Me

My genius...

The kids baked cookies today. I told Cheyenne to put the oven on 325. dylan reads the package and says, "No, 350."
Chey: "Ya I know, cuz our oven doesn't have 325." :)

I wanted to laugh so bad.Poor girl never consider the fact that it was between the numbers 300 and 350.Thought it was too cute not to share.

Trampoline Queen!

i really have to find my digital camera software. Alissa has declared herself "Queen of the Trampoline". She is so cute jumping around on that big ole' thing. She's very bossy too. No one else is allowed on it while she is on there...even to help her off. She screams her head off and tell the kids, "Get off my twampoline!" and "I'll bounce you off!" It's too cute!

Thank You, My Friend

You know who you are! Thank you for always being there for me.

>Be strong
>To be strong, remind yourself that you can be. To be strong, remind
yourself
of why you choose to be.
>To be strong, remind yourself of what your strength, focus and
discipline
have already brought you. To be strong, remind yourself that your
commitment
can be just as powerful as any excuse or rationalization. To be
strong, have
a well-understood purpose and a well-defined plan. To be strong, be
sincerely
thankful for all that you have and for all that you are able to do.
>To be strong, begin with your thoughts. When your thoughts are of
strength
and of positive possibilities, your actions will follow along. Each
day the
world will send you all sorts of challenges, difficulties, temptations
and
distractions. Know that these things are surely coming your way, and
choose in
advance to be strong.
>As the ups and downs of life arrive, remind yourself that you have
chosen to
be strong. Then as each moment passes, you'll naturally follow through
on that
choice.

Time For Me To Fly

I think REO Speedwagon said it best....

Time For Me To Fly

I’ve been around for you
I’ve been up and down for you
But I just can’t get any relief
I’ve swallowed my pride for you
I’ve lived and lied for you
But you still make me feel like a thief

You got me stealin’ your love away
’cause you never give it
Peeling the years away
And we can’t relive it
I make you laugh
And you make me cry
I believe it’s time for me to fly

You said we’d work it out
You said that you had no doubt
That deep down we were really in love
Oh, but I’m tired of holding on
To a feeling I know is gone
I do believe that I’ve had enough

I’ve had enough of the falseness
Of a worn out relation
Enough of the jealousy
And the intoleration
I make you laugh
And you make me cry
I believe it’s time for me to fly

{refrain} time for me to fly
Oh, I’ve got to set myself free
Time for me to fly
And that’s just how it’s got to be
I know it hurts to say goodbye
But it’s time for me to fly

Oh, don’t you know it’s...
{refrain}

It’s time for me to fly
{repeat to end}

The workings of a 3 year old mind

At 3am this morning while we were fighting Cass' raging fever Alissa decided to name the people in our family. Here is what she said then she got to Daddy.
Cass: Daddy is on a trip.
Alissa: NO!!! Daddy is working. My Daddy sleeps at work.

And this morning when we left school she says, "My mouth does it!"
me: Oh ya, what does your mouth do?
Alissa: My mouth dances!

Oh, how I wish I could see inside that little mind of her's.

A poem...

I copied this poem from a surviving divorce message board I recently started visiting for those days when I fell that I won't survive. They are getting fewer and father between but I do indeed still have them. So this will be one of the things that I use to help get me through.

After A While



After a while you learn

The subtle difference between

Holding a hand and chaining a soul

And you learn

That love doesn’t mean leaning

And company doesn’t always mean security.

And you begin to learn

That kisses aren’t contracts

And presents aren’t promises

And you begin to accept your defeats

With your head up and your eyes ahead

With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child

And you learn

To build your roads on today

Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans

And futures have a way a falling down

In mid-flight

After a while you learn

That even sunshine burns

If you get too much

So you plant your own garden

And decorate your own soul

Instead of waiting for someone

To bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure

You really are strong

You really do have worth

And you learn

And you learn

With every goodbye, you learn...



1971 by Veronica A. Shoffstall

God's love

Without fail God is constantly reminding me of his blessing and love for me. The day started out so bad. I must admit I have spent most of it crying. I was so confumed by feelings of hurt, rage and worthlessness over what is happening between Jeremy and I. When I went to get Alissa up from her nap she waas laughing and the first thing she said to me was, "You are beautiful!" Thank God for my children and the fact that he speaks to me through them. Made me remember that no matter what Jeremy feels for me I will always be beautiful to my kids and my kind and loving Heavenly Father.

Tell me..

How long will it be before I can wake up in the morning and not feel like my heart has been ripped from my chest? How long before I can go a whole day without thinking about what went wrong, when and why? How long before I don't breakdown in tears at least once a day because I feel so devastated? How long before I quit wanting to curl up on the couch in the fetal position and never move again? How long before I can look at my kids and not have my heart break over how this is all effecting them? How long before I don't feel so hopeless and utterly alone? How long will it be before I am not so filled with rage and pain that I could truely drowned in it? How long before every thought I have is not shadowed with thoughs of how big a failure I am? How long before I can go to bed at night and not think about how my husband doesn't love me anymore? How long before I can actually sleep peacefully? Tell me how long will it be before I actully want to start living my life again?

Alissa' s prayer

The kids always pray at dinner. Because they want to, not because I make them. So Alissa has fallen into habit, too. Most often she says, "Thank you! Amen." Last night she grabbed my hand and said, "Let's pray." Her new prayer, "Welcome for this food. Welcome for this day. I'm done!" There just so cute at this age!

It's been forever

Not long after my last post my computer crapped out on me. :( It still isn't fixed. You wouldn't believe the internet withdrawl I've been having. How the heck am I suspose to keep up with my friends and family with no freaking computer. Hopefully I'll be back online very soon! Untill then be-lated Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year to all! I think we all deserve a happy year this time around!