Trampoline Queen!

i really have to find my digital camera software. Alissa has declared herself "Queen of the Trampoline". She is so cute jumping around on that big ole' thing. She's very bossy too. No one else is allowed on it while she is on there...even to help her off. She screams her head off and tell the kids, "Get off my twampoline!" and "I'll bounce you off!" It's too cute!

Thank You, My Friend

You know who you are! Thank you for always being there for me.

>Be strong
>To be strong, remind yourself that you can be. To be strong, remind
yourself
of why you choose to be.
>To be strong, remind yourself of what your strength, focus and
discipline
have already brought you. To be strong, remind yourself that your
commitment
can be just as powerful as any excuse or rationalization. To be
strong, have
a well-understood purpose and a well-defined plan. To be strong, be
sincerely
thankful for all that you have and for all that you are able to do.
>To be strong, begin with your thoughts. When your thoughts are of
strength
and of positive possibilities, your actions will follow along. Each
day the
world will send you all sorts of challenges, difficulties, temptations
and
distractions. Know that these things are surely coming your way, and
choose in
advance to be strong.
>As the ups and downs of life arrive, remind yourself that you have
chosen to
be strong. Then as each moment passes, you'll naturally follow through
on that
choice.

Time For Me To Fly

I think REO Speedwagon said it best....

Time For Me To Fly

I’ve been around for you
I’ve been up and down for you
But I just can’t get any relief
I’ve swallowed my pride for you
I’ve lived and lied for you
But you still make me feel like a thief

You got me stealin’ your love away
’cause you never give it
Peeling the years away
And we can’t relive it
I make you laugh
And you make me cry
I believe it’s time for me to fly

You said we’d work it out
You said that you had no doubt
That deep down we were really in love
Oh, but I’m tired of holding on
To a feeling I know is gone
I do believe that I’ve had enough

I’ve had enough of the falseness
Of a worn out relation
Enough of the jealousy
And the intoleration
I make you laugh
And you make me cry
I believe it’s time for me to fly

{refrain} time for me to fly
Oh, I’ve got to set myself free
Time for me to fly
And that’s just how it’s got to be
I know it hurts to say goodbye
But it’s time for me to fly

Oh, don’t you know it’s...
{refrain}

It’s time for me to fly
{repeat to end}

The workings of a 3 year old mind

At 3am this morning while we were fighting Cass' raging fever Alissa decided to name the people in our family. Here is what she said then she got to Daddy.
Cass: Daddy is on a trip.
Alissa: NO!!! Daddy is working. My Daddy sleeps at work.

And this morning when we left school she says, "My mouth does it!"
me: Oh ya, what does your mouth do?
Alissa: My mouth dances!

Oh, how I wish I could see inside that little mind of her's.

A poem...

I copied this poem from a surviving divorce message board I recently started visiting for those days when I fell that I won't survive. They are getting fewer and father between but I do indeed still have them. So this will be one of the things that I use to help get me through.

After A While



After a while you learn

The subtle difference between

Holding a hand and chaining a soul

And you learn

That love doesn’t mean leaning

And company doesn’t always mean security.

And you begin to learn

That kisses aren’t contracts

And presents aren’t promises

And you begin to accept your defeats

With your head up and your eyes ahead

With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child

And you learn

To build your roads on today

Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans

And futures have a way a falling down

In mid-flight

After a while you learn

That even sunshine burns

If you get too much

So you plant your own garden

And decorate your own soul

Instead of waiting for someone

To bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure

You really are strong

You really do have worth

And you learn

And you learn

With every goodbye, you learn...



1971 by Veronica A. Shoffstall

God's love

Without fail God is constantly reminding me of his blessing and love for me. The day started out so bad. I must admit I have spent most of it crying. I was so confumed by feelings of hurt, rage and worthlessness over what is happening between Jeremy and I. When I went to get Alissa up from her nap she waas laughing and the first thing she said to me was, "You are beautiful!" Thank God for my children and the fact that he speaks to me through them. Made me remember that no matter what Jeremy feels for me I will always be beautiful to my kids and my kind and loving Heavenly Father.

Tell me..

How long will it be before I can wake up in the morning and not feel like my heart has been ripped from my chest? How long before I can go a whole day without thinking about what went wrong, when and why? How long before I don't breakdown in tears at least once a day because I feel so devastated? How long before I quit wanting to curl up on the couch in the fetal position and never move again? How long before I can look at my kids and not have my heart break over how this is all effecting them? How long before I don't feel so hopeless and utterly alone? How long will it be before I am not so filled with rage and pain that I could truely drowned in it? How long before every thought I have is not shadowed with thoughs of how big a failure I am? How long before I can go to bed at night and not think about how my husband doesn't love me anymore? How long before I can actually sleep peacefully? Tell me how long will it be before I actully want to start living my life again?

Alissa' s prayer

The kids always pray at dinner. Because they want to, not because I make them. So Alissa has fallen into habit, too. Most often she says, "Thank you! Amen." Last night she grabbed my hand and said, "Let's pray." Her new prayer, "Welcome for this food. Welcome for this day. I'm done!" There just so cute at this age!

It's been forever

Not long after my last post my computer crapped out on me. :( It still isn't fixed. You wouldn't believe the internet withdrawl I've been having. How the heck am I suspose to keep up with my friends and family with no freaking computer. Hopefully I'll be back online very soon! Untill then be-lated Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year to all! I think we all deserve a happy year this time around!